Not from the Home Depot Since there's no end to the funny stuff (unintentionally, I'm sure)
coming from that bedlam we laughingly call "Iran", I've been
looking in the armoury for a suitable response. A response to
what, you say?

Well, it seems Iran has designed "the most advanced Sea Shell".
Blurp from FARS (no, not FARCE):


TEHRAN (Fars News Agency)- Iran's navy commander
Admiral Sajjad Kouchaki said that Iranian military
experts have succeeded in making the most advanced
sea shell in the world.

The shell called 'Fajr' comprises 25 thousand parts
manufactured through partnership of over 100 Iranian
companies and academic elites.

There is, of course, enough bizarreness in just these
couple of lines to sink an Iranian battleship, or perhaps
an Iranian PT-boat. Generally, Seashells contains only one
significant part - the mollusc. Although biologically complex,
perhaps even comprising 25000 mollusc-widgets, it's
tempting to classify the mollusc as almost as low-grade as
the devices between the Iranian "Elite's" ears. Sorry
Homodinejad, but that's the state of your "military".

However. It's tempting to think of a suitable present for
the Iranian Baghdad-Bob-esque fixer-uppers of their
Mohammedan Military forces. And by God, I think I
have found the ideal surprise gift for all the followers of
"Mad Mo" down there in Jihadland.

Compared to the ultra-advanced concepts coming from
the Iranian Academic Elites it's somewhat old hat. It is,
in fact, so old in the US arsenal that you could almost call
it "traditional", although it was never tested back in the
sixties when it was developed. It was deemed too destructive
for a test in peacetime. But now the foot is in another
boot, isn't it? And the world is teeming with proving
grounds.

So I'm thinking the item almost made for the purpose of
lending the Iranian Home Improvement Project a hand
is a crowbar.

Now don't get me wrong. This is no cheap dingus from
the Home Depot. This thing had many names: Pluto, "The
Flying Crowbar", Vought SLAM or just "The Weapon From
Hell".

There's lots of interesting articles about this item, which
was paused because of the lack of suitable testing facilities.
From one of them:


Pluto's namesake was Roman mythology's ruler of the
underworld -- seemingly an apt inspiration for a
locomotive-size missile that would travel at near-
treetop level at three times the speed of sound,
tossing out hydrogen bombs as it roared overhead.
Pluto's designers calculated that its shock wave
alone might kill people on the ground. Then there
was the problem of fallout. In addition to gamma and
neutron radiation from the unshielded reactor, Pluto's
nuclear ramjet would spew fission fragments out in its
exhaust as it flew by. (One enterprising weaponeer had
a plan to turn an obvious peace-time liability into a
wartime asset: he suggested flying the radioactive
rocket back and forth over the Soviet Union after it
had dropped its bombs.)

WOW, is all I can say. Hey Mahmoud, one of these things
with its 26 hydrogen bombs load can wipe out Iran and
then sterilize the place for hundreds of years. Since you've
been touted as an engineer, if I remember, I'm sure tou're
educated enough to know the meaning of the word "bonus".
Btw, my curiosity is somewhat tickled over this - are you
a "nuclear enginer", or a "nuclear physicist" like that
demented Peanutfarmer, Dixie-mob-big and Rabbitophobe
Mr. Carter?

Anyway, there's a good illustration of the crowbar in the
linked article. And it WAS tested, in a way - just not given
the freedom to fly around. So it's 50 years old tech that can
be brought right out again.

Anyone in the Pentagon up for it?